If you are a regular on my blog, you would have noticed two things: one, I’m Nigerian and two, I grew up in Nigeria. I don’t know about you but where I grew up, we usually come together as a large family, and I mean laaaargeee, to celebrate holidays like Christmas, New Year’s and the likes.
Now let’s leave Nigeria alone because I’m sure in other parts of the world as well, there might be a tradition for every member of the family to gather on New Year’s or something for a little get together no matter where they might be. Now, when we were much younger, we might have gotten away with some things, but as we got older, we have so many relatives relating with us more, Aunties and Uncles wanna know who we’re dating or just become generally nosy.
This is usually very common in Nigeria especially if you’re a female, in your late 20s or above 30 years and you are unmarried or they don’t even see you with anyone. Them Aunties be like “Sade, how old are you again? We were thinking you would show up to the dinner with your plus one”. *this is me trying to act out a movie scene that just came to my head* Some would outrightly tell you, “Is it until you start growing grey hairs before you get married” we know all annoying that can be.
See guys, it might not even be about getting a partner, it might be about getting a job or school or anything at all. These people just find a way of getting on every one of your nerves when in fact, all you want to do is to get through the night and pack your bags the first chance you get and at the same time, not ruin the family dinner.
If you are in this position or if you feel you’re about to be in this position, don’t worry, I come bearing great news (this blog post). To the singles, the unemployed, the “name it”, here are a few things you can do to avoid ruining your family dinner for them and also yourself.
Consider this as a gift from me to you as I have decided to give share some tips on how to deal with these relatives, “mimie-style”! And oh, I am not going to teach us to be rude o! Don’t come and cause trouble finish, they should now ask you who taught you all of these. I am a well brought up Nigerian lady. *lol* In other words, these tips will help you not smack a pan on someone’s face when they start getting on your nerves because I tell you, they will!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Shall we?..
1. Focus on yourself and the things you can control
You can’t control how your family members will act, but one thing you can do is control how you respond and the sooner you realize this, the better for you and them (for you, most importantly). When you focus on yourself, you blackout other people’s opinions and you take charge.
2. Don’t take things personally
I know how hard this might be, especially if so many things are directed towards you. When everyone and everything suggests that something is wrong with you, take it as something is wrong with them. Don’t voice that out loud tho. We’re not trying to have a violent dinner
3. Focus on having Fun
When you’re in the right frame of mind, nobody should be able to kill your vibe. And that’s what you should focus on, that no matter what, you just wanna have fun. When you have that mindset, no matter what anyone says or does, you’ll get through the night peacefully. So enjoy yourself, because truthfully, that’s what the holidays are about, innit?
4. Take a break if you need to
Sometimes, no matter what you do, no matter how much you’ve avoided drama, some people are still bent on getting you angry. If any relative’s words trigger your emotions, you can take a break by going into the bedroom to get your feelings in order. You can decide to take a walk as well. Do whatever helps you to relax. It will help you.
5. Do not attend
If you think all I’ve listed above cannot work for you or maybe you feel your family is more difficult than what I’ve portrayed, rather than going at all, then do not attend. You can come up with an excuse or something. They might eventually find out you’re lying but at least, you gotta keep your head sane. Your self-care is important! We don’t want you having a mental breakdown maybe days after everyone is gone. Your wellbeing comes first.
Dealing with difficult family members, for some people is a reality they cannot escape. I hope you find these tips helpful. Maybe it might not be a terrible idea celebrating New Year’s with your family after all. Tell me what you think in the comments below.
Happy Celebrations Friends. Have a good one!